Personal Statement Hooks

’Concentrate on the main content of your statement and write the introduction last. I think the opening line is the hardest one to write, so I often say leave it until the end and just try and get something down on paper.’

How to start a personal statement: The attention grabber

The personal statement is your opportunity to talk about you, and why you want to enrol on a particular course. But how do you start it strongly? Read our advice below on what to include, what not to do, and how to approach it.

The best statements tend to be genuine and specific from the very start. You’ll be on the right track if you show your enthusiasm for the subject or course, your understanding of it, and what you want to achieve.

Admissions tutors – the people who read and score your personal statement – say don’t get stressed about trying to think of a ‘killer opening’. Discover the advice below and take your time to think about how best to introduce yourself.

Liz Bryan: HE Coordinator and Careers Advisor, Queen Elizabeth Sixth Form College

‘The best opening sentences refer to experiences – students need to think about what stands out to them regarding their relationship with their chosen subject… their interest in the subject may have been generated from work experience, voluntary work, hobbies/interests or even from studying it at A Level.’

Preparing to write your personal statement

Start by making some notes. The personal statement allows admissions tutors to form a picture of who you are. So, for the opener, think about writing down things, such as:

• why you’re a good candidate
• your motivations
• what brings you to this course

If you’re applying for multiple courses, think about how your skills, academic interests, and the way you think are relevant to all the courses you’ve chosen.

Top tips on how to write your statement opener

We spoke to admissions tutors at unis and colleges – read on for their tips.

1. Don’t begin with the overkill opening

Try not to overthink the opening sentence. You need to engage the reader with your relevant thoughts and ideas, but not go overboard.

Tutors said: ‘The opening is your chance to introduce yourself, to explain your motivation for studying the course and to demonstrate your understanding of it. The best personal statements get to the point quickly. Go straight in. What excites you about the course and why do you want to learn about it more?’

Be succinct and draw the reader in, but not with a gimmick. This isn’t the X Factor.

Admissions tutor

2. Write about why you want to study that course

Think about why you want to study the course and how you can demonstrate this in your written statement:

’Your interest in the course is the biggest thing. Start with a short sentence that captures the reason why you’re interested in studying the area you’re applying for and that communicates your enthusiasm for it. Don’t waffle or say you want to study something just because it’s interesting. Explain what you find interesting about it.’

It’s much better to engage us with something interesting, relevant, specific and current in your opening line… Start with what’s inspiring you now, not what inspired you when you were six.

Admissions tutor

3. Avoid cliches

Try to avoid cliches and the most obvious opening sentences so you stand out from the very first line. UCAS publishes a list of common opening lines each year. Here are just some overused phrases to avoid using in your personal statement:

• From a young age…
• For as long as I can remember…
• I am applying for this course because…
• I have always been interested in…
• Throughout my life I have always enjoyed…

And try not to use quotes. Quotations are top of the list of admissions tutors’ pet hates.

4. Maybe don’t begin at the start?

’Concentrate on the main content of your statement and write the introduction last. I think the opening line is the hardest one to write, so I often say leave it until the end and just try and get something down on paper.’

It may be easier to get on with writing the main content of your statement and coming back to the introduction afterwards –that way you will also know what you’re introducing.

I often advise applicants to start with paragraph two, where you get into why you want to study the course. That’s what we’re really interested in.

Admissions tutor

The Personal Statement Needs No Hook

It’s college admissions season for the Class of 2024. Not surprisingly, teens around the country are experiencing a barrage of advice from well-intentioned adults. Much of it is confusing; some of it is just wrong.

One of the most common misconceptions is that students need to start their personal statement with a “hook.”

The theory behind a hook is this: grab a reader’s attention in the first lines of a personal statement, so college application readers will be more interested in the rest of the essay. Hooks sound good in theory, but they are unnecessary and can hurt a student’s application essay.

Focusing on hooks places too much emphasis on the beginning of the personal statement, and not on the whole story. It encourages hyperbole, and shows a fundamental misunderstanding of how admissions professionals read personal statements. Students don’t need a hook to get attention inside the college admissions office.

In fact, teens do not need a hook at all on any personal statement to create dynamic stories. Every effective story will have stand-out moments. Moments of tension, beauty, or humor. It’s fine if students want to dive right in and start telling their stories in the first line of their personal statement. It’s also okay to lift a dramatic moment or a captivating image from their story, and then use it as a starting point of a college essay. In either case, students will be grabbing attention, while also keeping readers focused on the entire story, from the very first word.

Make sure personal statement helps the college applicant

Any part of the essay that doesn’t help college admission counselors better understand the student will waste their time. Hooks can be a waste of time. They are problematic because they pull students’ attention away from what’s really important: their story.

When teens hear they need a hook at the beginning of their essay, they often reach for a few familiar gimmicks: “Webster’s dictionary defines leadership as…” or “Albert Einstein once said…” But admissions readers don’t care what the dictionary states, or a famous person has to say. They want to learn about the student, not Albert Einstein.

When students use jokes or “shocking” statements as hooks, their essays face similar problems. Does the joke reflect something essential about a student’s character? Usually not. Is the “shocking” statement an essential part of the student’s story, or just an exaggeration? Usually the latter. Jokes and shocking statements are thrown at the top of an essay simply to get attention will not help readers understand the traits and characteristics of the teen who is writing the essay.

Admissions officers read every personal statement carefully. It’s their job, and they take it seriously. They don’t need to be baited or swayed with a hook. If applicants answer the prompt and share something meaningful that illustrates positive traits, admissions teams will read every word of the essay.

Remember that admissions officers read essays for a specific purpose: to learn about the applicant’s character. The story is what’s going to help them understand who a student really is. Staying focused on the story is a great way to keep readers engaged from the first word to the last in any personal statement.

If Your Child Can Think, They Can Write

The college essay is a thinking task as much as it is a writing task. And if your child can think, they can write.

There’s more about this, and other great tips for students and parents, in our book, How to Write an Effective College Application Essay: the Inside Scoop for Students, Second Edition. You can download a free copy here.

Feel free to share it with your friends. We even wrote a chapter just for parents!

Wishing your family a peaceful and successful journey to college.

At Wow, we know what colleges want. We provide students a simple, step-by-step process (See The Wow Method graphic below) for writing effective college essays, so they can stand out and tell their stories. Since 2009, we’ve been transforming the college essay experience from daunting and frightening to calm and empowering.

At Wow, we help students feel calm and in control as they learn how to master every type of application writing task. All of our packages include everything your child needs to complete every writing task for any type of school. The difference? The amount of one-on-one coaching and customization. Would you like to find out if we’re a match? Learn more.

Joe Kane

Joe Kane is a Senior Writing Coach with Wow Writing Workshop. Outgoing, thoughtful and imaginative, Joe loves hearing his students’ stories and helping them reflect on their life experiences in compelling college essays. Perpetually optimistic, Joe is grateful for the things he has learned from working with Wow’s students about life in distant countries, VEX robotics competitions, cloning extinct species, and so much more! Joe joined Wow after working as a writer-in-residence for the nationally recognized InsideOut Literary Arts. He now lives in Nashville, where he is the Program Director of The Porch’s youth programming arm, SLANT (Student Literary Artists of Nashville, TN). Joe’s poems and stories have found homes in a number of magazines, including RHINO, Elimae, theEEEL, Clapboard House, The Splinter Generation, Cricket Online Review, Psychic Meatloaf, Temenos, Right Hand Pointing, and Admit2. He holds a BA in English and an MA in Creative Writing from Central Michigan University.